Here's some things you've probably never wondered before:
- What do Michael Jackson, Charlie Brown, Ron Weasley, and Jack Sparrow all have in common?
- Why is a daily vocabulary calendar the focus of a world-wide war called Word War II?
- How exactly do the creators of Vocab Wars justify the cornucopia of crossovers, mashups and out right adulterations of all these historical figures, literary characters, and lightsaber-wielding 'CIA' agents with mathematical titles?!
The answer is quite simple, really. It all has to do with. . . *dramatic pause*
Academia.
In the beginning was the word. And the word was God.
In the midst of a void there was a voice, a spoken word of such eloquence and beauty, its vernacular was not of this world nor, indeed, this universe; such grandiloquence of speech could not be found 'neath mountains of the most catchy of Instagram posts in all the internet in all the world.
Indeed, it seemed to transcend every possible known vernacular of the mere homosapien. Dripping forth from the tongues of gods came the fiery cloves of spoken intelligence, read from the passages of, can it be? yes, the Vocabulary Calendar! As the music of celestial language filled the immensity of the vacuous deep, the words wove the very fabric of space and time into their loom.
Entire worlds and galaxies were spoken and written into existence.
And here, now, we find the world in which Academia is born; every soul conceived by the splatterings of pen and ink against the pages of some text, printed en masse in a print shop or scribbled in the notebooks of bored high school students. All are alike and alive in the world of the written word.
In other words, I am written, therefore I am.
Academia
But the written word encompasses all subjects, languages, and intelligences, and so we have major divisions. The world of Academia is, as one may assume, a world built from the words of academic instruction. In it we find every field of study.
In a word, we have the superpowers: History, Literature, Math, and Science. Each superpower nation contains within it states and cities, inspired and built by the substudies of their country.
HISTORY - From the pages of History books emerge those men and women of glory and renown. The noble, fearful, and evil all alike dwell with chaotic harmony and balance; these are the masters and the usurpers, the orators and warriors, the unforgotten heroes and villains of conquest and philosophical transcendence.
All those worthy of remembrance dwell here, among which we find such characters of note as Michael Jackson, Abraham Lincoln, and Joan of Arc, all of whom only live because they were the best.
LITERATURE - In the land of Literature, there are both wonderful and horrific beings of song and story. An unfathomable world, divided by necessity into separate states, of dragons, kraakens, and sappy romantic teenagers. Treasures of love and life are hidden everywhere from the mountains to the seashores, while sea captains of pirate ships, submarines, and whaling vessels prowl the open ocean, and sky captains command the heavens.
It is within the borders of this land that we find Charlie Brown, Ron Weasley, Captain Jack Sparrow, Lady Macbeth and the charming Prince Charming, each written with their own individual meaning and purpose, not one of them the same, but many born from that same notorious and unavoidable archetypes.
It should be noted that while the individual character may exist in Academia, their own world and story does not. Academia does not encompass all of Middle Earth, for example - but one may supposedly chance upon a hobbit now and again.
Now the regions of History and Literature are easy enough to comprehend, but what of Science and Mathematics? These are the dark realms beyond the borders of imagination, forged in the fires of reason, discovery, and cold calculations.
Here there be monsters.
SCIENCE - The world of Science is mysterious and dangerous, a world of terrifying possibility and fraught with monstrous peril; where bolts of lightning split atoms out of the sky, gravitational and electromagnetic fields may fracture the very light of your lamp until you can see around corners, and massive mitochondria are powerhouses for far more than just your cells.
Doctors, scientists, and engineers exercise their will against these perils in a rather isolated engagement. They do not care for the lives of others, for they are hellbent on discovery and exploration, even at the heartless price of life. They never eat. They never sleep. And they never stop. It is their will to learn at whatever cost.
The diabolical queen of the biological land of Blastopore exudes these qualities with a vainglorious pride; while queen of only one among many Scientific quadrants, the Empress has mastered command of many other smaller scientific kingdoms by the influence of fear alone.
MATHEMATICS - The Mathematical beings were not born with the luxury of story or meaning - they have no home, no names, and they know no love. Their tales are not shared across the campfire, nor wept for in the touching poetry of romantics. They only are and will be; they are mere embodiments of rigid equations and soulless formulae.
With robotic will, they set out to simplify and multiply, disparaging beauty, destroying purpose, and desecrating the sacred excess of human life in abundance. Considering math to be the 'language of God,' they regard all other powers of academic faculty as inferior and misguided, in need of their correction.
They are, perhaps, the most powerful of the Academic powers, for they are the only nation that has always remained unified in one incontrovertible purpose; they are a singularity, and a body unto themselves. There is no division, only intrinsic, mathematical harmony. Their lord commander is determined by straightforward calculation; no squabbles, no dissension, and no debate.
They are always right. They are always sure. The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and if they have to carve through your homes, hearths, and hearts to get there, theirs is an unconquerable will to do so.
And so it is within this world that we find our heroes engaged in a near impossible struggle against the principalities and powers of knowledge and intelligence.
Prophesied by the great Oracle of Dempewolf, summoned from the dead by that mysterious Man in the Panda Mask, and set at odds against the very greatest minds and wills ever conceived, they search the world of Academia for the Lost Vocab Calendar, the only Dossier with the power to thwart the powers of darkness and restore order to this realm of chaos.
Or you know, something like that. At least, that's what we imagine they'd do. You know, if we ever got to continue the story past episode two.
Anyway, I totally made up 90% of this here on the spot, but it sounds pretty cool to me. Seems legit.
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